Monday, 2 February 2009

Duck's cannot digest rye bread...

...!! thank god im not a duck then because i live on the stuff!!
I had a realy bad weel with my ED, because iv been ill so off college for 3 weeks! ive just eaten so much junk, well not realy but like my dinner and lunch portions are massive because i dont snack or anything and so it dosnt always stay down...
im realy imbarrised t admit that because i thought i would be ok once i got discharged from hospital but its kinda spiraling again..
Some of my closest friends know though and are trying to help but unless i make my food portions smaller i will keep feeling guilty and bloated..ergh why cant i stop eating when im full? bordum eating i recon... haha sorrryy

Im actually kinda totally obsesed with peanut butter... im getting through a tub in like 4 days : i swear that cant be good, but its soo is sooo sooo sooooooooo goood :D :D:D:D so i dont care!!
This week i have tried a few new things that i will tell you about :)

On the 27th Jan it was my youngest sisters boyfriends birthday, he turned 17 :)
so around 3pm i got a knock on the door and on the doorstep was a smiley darryl and my boyfriend david, both sporting new hair!!
darryl had bleached his was dark before
(hes just put a blue strip in it :D-looks well amazing)
and david had had a tonnn cut off his, both look good, didnt think i would like darryls but i did :D

Before they came over i tried baking maybe 3/4 cakes? all failed horribily, im not sure why because i used the same method i have before? madness.

Eventually i managed to bake 4 mini layers of chocolate sponge (unfortunutly not vegan :/ i was low on my vegan stuff so had to use my mums milk e.c.t) so i missed out on eating cake.. aha oh well im abit freaked out about it at the mo. weird how things can change in the space of a week?
In between the layers i placed choclate filling and vanilla buttercream, i then placed all the layers ontop of eachother and finished it off by menting milk chocolate and pouring it over the top and placing them tiny silver balls all over and m&m's.

phew! haha that cake suree was high on the cals. im guessing ;) ah well i didnt get any but it looked realy nice :(
i also made cupcakes with flakes and chocolate chips baked into them.

thats a small update of the cakeee ;D

This is simply herb coated tofu that i fried with baked tomatoes and veg/corn pasta.

I bought this lentil ad vege casserole from holland and barrett when i was out shopping with my mums boyfriend on wednesday, it was pretty much the same as the one i had previously bought at tescos (dont stock it at mine anymore grr) I realy liked the flavor of it and had it with polenta and extra vege mmm ^__^

OMGG these drinks were amazing!!
Me and my mum were in waitrose a couple weeks ago and she bought a paper and aparently if you bought that paper you got a free drink, and because there was two of us we got two :D:D mum gave them both to me and i put them in my food storeage thingy.
I ran outa fresh orange this week so i was like **SCOREEEE** im going to have my drinks, it was like fizzy drink realy but made from natural ingreditents and no like added flavors and stuff. was realy nice!!!

For lunch one day this week i had another flavor of seeds of change soups that i bought from tescos, This time i had "three bean soup" it was realy nice actually, i think i prefer the flavor to that of the spicy lentil one i tried last week, this one didnt give me such a strong after taste of garlic (which is good seing as garlic makes me realy ill!!)

heres the product

I could post more pics but i havnt uploaded them yet... ITS SNOWING!!! and my next post il post pics of it:D and stuff, have a lovely dayyy im off as the boyfriend just came through the door :D:D yaaay xxxxx


Emma said...

Sorry to hear that you're struggling with your ED again but you shouldn't feel bad about it because you've been doing so well and it is totally natural to have to odd relapase. I think it is unrealistic to expect to never have any slip-ups. The most important thing is to acknowledge them and try to fight back, which is exactly what you are doing! You are strong and you will back onto a healthier path soon, I know it!

Anyway yummy eats as always. I must try those Seeds of Change soups, they sound really good and there is no way I could ever be bothered to make my own!

Maybe try and get into the habit of snacking between meals? I find it works well for me to eat about every 3-4 hours so that my energy stays pretty steady throughout the day and I am not too famished when meal times come along. I tend to snack on larabars, trek bars, nakd bars, dried fruit, bowls of cereal and even odd stuff like tins of beans! You have to do whatever works for you though so I hope you find an eating schedule that suits you.

All the best anyway

fay said...

heyy!!! i love your blog! i just read through some of your older posts and saw you had some PB&co peanut butter.. where did you get it from?!!!!! i really want to try some!! :) xxxx

Kiki said...

Thanks for the comment! I'm glad I gave you a bit of reassurance about struggling with EDs. Sorry you've been having difficulty lately. But like Emma says, you have to expect slip-ups during recovery. All that matters is that you understand why you're relapsing into old behaviors and change it. Your portion sizes look totally normal, in my opinion.

That cake looks amazing! Sorry you couldn't eat any. Have a lovely day!

flower said...

Hey thanks for visiting my blog. That cake looked amazing, I was drooling.
Sorry to hear youre struggling with ed, but its good to hear you have so many people that care about you. Enjoy the snow

Agnesss =) said...

Hey heyyyyoo!! =))

I've been away for some time..but now BACK!! =D I'm happy to see your posts again!!

Your eats look yumm!!! =D
Just try to stay in the GOOD PATCH =D Try to eat vegan and stick to this =) It'll make you feel comfortable,belive me =)

You'll win over the ed voice,just think positive and be strong,Girl =)

WHERE EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO STAY IN GERMANY??? In WHICH CITY?? =)) Tell me pls,maybe we could meet ..?? =)))